ianua, by renee altson :: stumbling toward faith

Nov 24, 2009 :: 7:59 pm
ugh

ugh. like. wow.
so.
much.

i am dealing with so much as the result of stopping the ECT treatments and some of the meds. wow. so sick and dizzy. can hardly walk. want to nap a lot. feeling like shit. emotionally on the edge of laughter & tears (alternating), and succumbing to one or the other every few minutes. still suffering from memory loss (current, not past). headache. “bzz"ing in my head that flickers through my head and through my body (starts and is primary on left side). losing track of conversations right in the middle of them. having thought i had overcome the issue with diahrrhea, etc, but finding it suddenly coming back with no explanation and as badly as before.

a lot of other things too --non-physical, related to my mental illness, suicidal ideation and cutting addiction—feeling so overwhelmed and pathetic and SAD.

anyway, struggling to get through this and continue to survive it. hoping that time is a healer. not really sure what else to do. so thankful for my very understanding & compassionate husband and the psychologist who hasn’t given up after all this time and bullshit.

so tired and overwhelmed right now…

....................

posted by: renee on Nov 24, 2009 :: 7:59 pm | [2] comments |
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